Despite the fun I've been having here at Blogger, I've decided it's time to move the blog to a new site. Something with more templates to change the look, something that looks nicer and has better tools. So I've decided on wordpress.com. Now I've just got to actually update, right?

http://finallythought.wordpress.com/

These are Hott Nuts. And they are really tasty and very hurtful. Between the security guard, Eli, and myself, we have eaten part of the can and drained most of the water cooler here at work. Start to feel sleepy? Eat some Hott Nuts!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to challenge Jeff to eat the whole can without anything to drink. That could probably rival the "X-Rated" hot wings I had at my 21st birthday at Charlie's Bar in Coralville.

My mouth is just starting to calm down. Soon as I'm ready for another snack, I'll be having a few more. And with 4 hours left at work, I'm sure I'll be diving in one more time. At least.

http://www.painisgood.com/pain.asp?sizzle=319

Alright, before we get started with that, it was pointed out to me that one of my previous blog posts was mislabeled. It's MatchBOOK Romance, not MatchBOX Romance. So to those who stalk me relentlessly enough to point that out, thank you, and it's been corrected.

Onto the fun.

Robert Dean Franz is getting married. He's next to take the plunge, preceded of course by Jesse and Amber getting hitched. Rob is marrying Catheryn, a very nice, very thoughtful girl. For his last birthday, she got him a propane torch and a digital level of some kind. Not something you'd get every guy, but definitely something you'd get Rob.

This past Monday was his bachelor party. An odd day to have it, but it seemed to work for everyone. I think two people had to take it off from work. It was the core group of friends: Rob, Jesse, Jeff, Deli, and myself, with three additions: Q (Rob's brother), John (Rob's work friend), and Jeremy (Rob's brother in law). We set off at about 5 from the Franz farm to get supplies and hopefully set off on our trip before the rain came. To say "we didn't beat the rain" is putting it mildly. By the time we had our two-30-racks of beer, enough food for everyone, and dry firewood, the sky had opened up into a torrential downpour. We had to abandon our original launch time and push it back until the lightning stopped. We unloaded the van into the downpour so we could take it to the part of the river where we were going to get out the next day. We were soaked. The rain stopped about an hour later and into the river we went. We started a fire and had tents up in 30 minutes from our arrival to the beach we camp at.

Freshly dried off, we jumped straight into the river for some fun before it got dark. Thus begins our jousting idiocy. With a platform strapped to the middle of a canoe, we steered them toward each other, watching Jeff and Rob balance on them and try not to fall off. Before night came, we managed to have zero successful jousts. Someone would dump their jouster, or the whole canoe; something always got in the way. It wasn't until after dark and the moon came up that John and Jesse went head to head. John doesn't look like much, but he was an all-state running back in high school. The kid is STRONG. And has very good balance. He decimated Jesse every pass.

After we were done in the river, we ate and started drinking our two thirty-racks of beer, 2-liters of mixed drinks, and playing a rousing game of "Would You Rather". Some of them got pretty disturbing (mostly thanks to Jesse). Lighter fluid was copiously used on the fire, to the point where Q liked to flash his package at the perpetrators to show his annoyance. I saw his balls more than my own over the weekend. Exhausted, we headed to bed at around two.

The next morning we ate Pop-tarts around the fire Jesse got started, then tore down camp so we could relax the rest of the day. The morning was spent floating down the river, only paddling enough to avoid the shores and shallow spots. It was awesomely relaxing. Most of us were smart and used enough sunscreen to avoid burns, except Deli, who was a nice shade of purple when we got out of the river.

Wanting to kill some time, we stopped at a beach just before our exit at the old iron bridge. We decided all of our relaxing needed to be undone, so several of us got tackled into the water. Jesse attempted to take me in, but ended up getting tossed over my hip and landed on. Sort of felt a little bad; I'm a big guy. Jeff got Deli, and I got Jeff in return. Then we decided to chicken fight in the water. Jesse was on my shoulders, John on Rob's shoulders, and Q on Jeremy's. I don't even remember who won, but my neck was pretty sore and I ended up drinking some of the Wapsi water. It was good fun anyway though. I'll update this section with some pictures when I get them.

Eventually it was time to call it quits, pack up the canoes and gear, and head home. We had a damn good time being idiots. For the first time, no one was extremely hungover the next morning, and serious sunburns were avoided, even though Deli may have been the exception to that. Although it's been popular with my friends to canoe for a bachelor party, I have to think mine won't take place on the river. Even if some of us have to tell our wives it will be...

This is part one of the canoeing post since this weekend's canoe trip was a precursor to a longer and far more epic canoe trip to come. Jesse wanted to get in the river by 8 am (didn't happen) and out of it by noon (also did not happen).

Basically, the premise was just to go make sure our little camping spot is in tip top shape. And that's what we did. We put the canoes in the water and headed down to our little island and cleared some grass, tossed some empty beer bottles, and got all domestic up in that piece.

But we decided to go the extra mile. While getting firewood around, we spotted an awesome log to sit on on the far bank. The John Wayne in Deli, Jesse, and Jeff got the better of them. Heck yes we can get this bigass heavyass giantass log over there. We ended up taking a canoe over there, then having to swim the thing back. Did I mention it was heavy? It was heavy. It floated or we never would have gotten it. It took four of us to heave it up the sand and onto the beach in about 4 tiring efforts.

We decided after that, we needed another one. Two is better than one, right? I saw another, so we swam back over across the bank to it, and proceeded to try and swim it over. It was sort of propped up against the embankment, the thick end of the tree out of the water. We were just going to roll it into the water, but there was a branch on one side that was preventing this. So I went to work on snapping part of the branch, while Jesse and Jeff pushed on the top. Not realizing that this log was much longer than the first, it gave way, but gained the leverage it needed by touching the bottom of the river. I was putting all my weight on the branch when it went. And all of the sudden, the tree rotated, lifted me up OUT of the water, and catapulted me about two feet up into the air.

Awesome ride. But when we finally got this beast of a "log" back to the beach, we realized it was about 50 times heavier than our first one. And not nearly as suited to make a good sittin' log. We managed to only pick up one side or the other, and never made any headway. We gave up. Exhausted, we got back into our canoes and decided up river would make a shorter trip. Deli and I got stuck twice, spun around by current once, and generally gave Jesse and Jeff something to laugh about.

After the hilarity and hard work on my part to drag that canoe back up stream, the four of us lazily paddled back to the boat dock. To pass the time we took to talking about Jeff's relationship with Annie, and the many many reasons they shouldn't get back together. Jeff's afraid he'll have a moment of weakness, and he's super shy so it's hard to meet new girls, and blah blah blah. He just needs to go out and hit on some ladies. Hopefully on his days off we'll do just that.

Back at the farm (Rob's), Jesse and I chilled with Q and Rob's parents (Carol and Jerry) for a while while Deli and Jeff fetched the canoes in the trailer. Q is just as awesome as I remember. I haven't seen him since high school. He said he loved Boston, but it's just tough for him there. He and his wife got a divorce while he busted his ass running a coffee shop. Of course theater is what he loves most, since he's on his way to California in September for graduate school out there. But he's definitely doing awesome. He's in charge of the drinking games for Rob's party. One of which involves two canoes floating in the water, with a platform lashed between them, and emulating the show Gladiators with two guys trying to knock each other in the water. The drinking part comes from the guys still on shore, taking bets on who will win.

We hit up some Chinese food, watched Jesse eat a pepper that they grow themselves (he said it was painful to eat), and we finally struck out again on our separate ways. I had to drop Jesse back off at his place on my way out of town. We had a good chat though, catching up. It's been a while since we'd had the time to just chill and talk. He and Amber are doing pretty good. Apparently they hit a rough patch a while back but they're over it. He said Amber still has to do her nursing boards, and he's encouraging her as much as he can, but she's dreading them. He wants to get back going to school as soon as he can. Last time he was in school it was to be a history teacher, but he's not thinking about going back to it. He might be considering a job in the DNR since he loves the outdoors so much. That's sort of his thing.

So that ends the canoeing trip. Part one of it anyway. Part two is in less than a week and should be fairly epic. I'm taking Aaron's camera for sure. We're also taking music this time, ibuprofen for the morning, an actual breakfast that's not mini donuts, and utensils to eat our food with. I'd say all those things combined may take us a bit closer to humanity than the Cro-Magnon men we turn into during the camping trips of our first bachelor party. Now if we can just figure out how to drop the strippers in by helicopter, we'll be good to go.

My father is finally employed! It's about damn time. He's only been at it since Wednesday. He's working 6 days a week, Sundays off, for about 12 hours a day. He's a car salesman. Yes, that's right. But to tell you the truth, I'm proud the guy is employed. Ecstatic for him actually. I don't care what he does as long as he makes money and gets out of the house more than once every other month.

Now if he could just sell a car and start making some of that money... I think we figured that two cars a week would put him over the pay he was getting at the security company he used to work for. He's had a couple of almost-sales so far. One of my favorite stories he told me almost made me laugh, but only because of the addendum I made to it in my own mind.

Buyers - "So how long have you worked here?"
Dad - "Actually, only a couple of days."
Buyers - "Oh wow, you are new."
Dad - "Yep, I've still got that new car salesman smell." *Chuckles*
(My input - "Of what, desperation and fear?")

It was funny in my mind anyway. Maybe I'm just tired. But this also means I get much needed privacy in the house. And I'm very excited for that part too.

In other news, I get to work 5 days next week, a big canoe trip is coming up (Rob's bachelor party [Gonna be a lotta dudes there...]), and hopefully finding out about a full-time job! So I can stop being a loser. I don't actually do much else, but I'll try to find stuff to post about, even if it's my usual random stuff.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of someone being a total dumbass. Reminds you of Miss Teen Southern Carolina. A LOT.

Ah yes, the great American tradition of camping. Just the men, out in nature, the elements, usually stocked with beer and red meat seeing if they can survive for about 48 hours before they get too bored and go home. Yup, that's usually what a campout is.

That's not the kind of campout I just volunteered for. I volunteered for the kind of campout that would keep me at work for 36 hours straight! Yay! Me at work for 12 hours of actual work, 12 hours of sleeping or whatever on a cot in the conference room (also called the very manly and intense-sounding "war room"), then 12 hours of work again. Now, I've given it some thought, and this might not be all bad. We just got brand new projectors installed and they are NICE. The one in the war room isn't always used, so I can totally watch movies on it when I'm on my 12 hours of "free time".

Now this all stems from people needing time off a recent power issue in the building. Not a danger per say unless something big happens like a tornado. But, it's Iowa, it's summer, a tornado popping up has happened before. But, with the issue, they have to have a tech on site at all times.

Aside from movies, I could totally cook s'mores in the microwave, tell ghost stories with the security guard by LCD-light, listen to the hum of the servers as I sleep, making it a great campout!

In other news, I also picked up three more shifts over the next month and a half or so, and put in for Rob's wedding off! I was even told that maybe I could be summoned for a few days in Madison at the data center there if they need help. Everyone needs some switchin' around and it's benefiting my paycheck.

Nate likes this.

So I turned the big 2-4, no big deal right? Apparently it's kind of a big deal. I'm not quite sure where to start, but probably the beginning. Sit back, relax, and get comfy; it's going to be a long post.

We started things off at Rudy's. Nick, Aaron, Jeremy, and Me. Rudy's is of course amazing. Had a beer with dinner and then Nick convinced us we HAD to see this hot bartender at Buzz's bar. Known only for being the closest dive bar to Cedar Falls, we headed there anyway, and Nick wasn't lying. Two birthday shots, one from the bartender, one from Nick, and we were off to Chaser's Pub to see Dusty.

Dusty would just feel betrayed if I hadn't allowed her any say in my drinking that night, so I made sure we stopped in for a drink. There was another woman there, Jodi, who had the same birthday as me. She thought it was awesome so we took a shot together and then off we went after 6 birthday spankings from the Dust. Yes, they friggin hurt.




We arrived at the Pump Haus, fashionably late of course. Good thing there was no one there waiting for us. We arrived and began the slow and steady consumption of alcohol. I had invited quite a few people, knowing full well that only 10 people or so would show. But it was a great mix of people. One of my teacher's from Hawkeye showed up, several friends that I haven't seen for a while, and lots of awesome people I just like chillin with.



We pretty much had the front of the Pump Haus to ourselves. People were inhibriated, the place was pounding for a Monday night, and we were having a great time. Even my little sister was there! Which surpised and amazed me. She's a friend from high school, but she's just always been like a little sister. Everyone seemed to have fun.




I think I had the most fun. Now, after the Pump Haus, things get a little hazy. I guess my drunk memory isn't exactly what it used to be. I remember talking Nick's ear off the in the car on the way to Chaser's. I don't remember drinking at Chaser's or who all was there, except for a Mexican guy named Hulio who became my new best friend. I was apparently taken care of by my brother (I know, it's scary for me too), and got home safe and sound, though I don't remember the car ride. I'm sure we had fun though. I do remember most people bailed after the Pump Haus though, so overall, the night was a total success. For a complete list of people who showed up, you'll just have to ask. Cause it's a lotta people!

Alright, last thing about my birthday, I got a sweet yoga mat, a keychain, and a Scooby Doo ice cream cake from DQ. All of which are awesome. And for those uneducated on the ways of the DQ ice cream cake, pictures! The one is actually of my cake, the other, just so you can see what's inside them since my picture didn't really turn out. It's so hot and humid today it got melty before we even got it into the fridge, and the froze into meltyness again.